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Are
you worried about survival?
Did you
buy the lie!!!!
By “Duke” R. L. Theall
The Real the
Real Truth about Want Ads
How
To Decipher The Real Truth Behind Those
J.O.B. Want Ads and Stop Wasting Your Time!
J.O.B.
= Just Over Broke!
"COMPETITIVE
SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less
than our competitors.
(We’re
looking for candidates who will be content
with poverty.)
"JOIN
OUR FAST-PACED TEAM"
We have no time to train you.
(Expect
a group interview. Your like spaghetti if
you stick your ready.)
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that
you'll dress up.
(Well,
a couple of the real daring guys
wear earrings.)
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule
on your first day.
(If
you happen to catch up, we reserve the right
to demand things yesterday
and continue to
stress/pester you.)
COLLEGE GRAD
• B.S. REQUIRED
We need three of you to replace one of our
Highly Paid Senior Staff Members.
(Of
course you will be paid 1/3 less and
expected to be gullible enough for us
to pull strings. [We
want puppets that are to insecure to
challenge us.]
(Senior Staff
Members are usually 40 plus of age and make
75k or more per year
and are difficult to
bluff or manipulate without a great deal of
resistance.)
"SEEKING
CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF
EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three
people who just left.
(These
were the three College Grads that couldn’t
fill the shoes of
the Senior Staff
Member we displaced.)
(We didn’t
appreciate his years of raw experience and
know how.)
(We are still
wondering why productivity & profits
have plummeted
& need someone
else to blame desperately!)
“MUST BE
RESPONSIBLE!”
When Things go wrong you will be
responsible!
(Deal
with it!)
"SOME
OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some
time each weekend.
(Plus
you are expected to come in early and leave
late to make up for it.)
"DUTIES
WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you
around.
(Deal
with it!)
"MUST
HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.
(Your
expected to do everything no one else wants
to do.)
"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless! (and remain that way).
"APPLY
IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be
told the position has been filled.
(We
don’t have an elaborate Automated Voice
Mail Gatekeeper System. )
(Besides we are to
lazy to answer the phone.)
"NO
PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for
resumes is just a legal formality.
(We
don’t have an elaborate Automated Voice
Mail Gatekeeper System either )
(Besides we are to
lazy to answer the phone too.)
“MAIL OR
FAX YOUR RESUME!”
Since our Human Resource Department is so
incompetent,
your Resume will be pulled out of a hat!
(All
the rest will be told thanks but no thanks,
however we will keep
your resume in our
round file for the next drawing.)
“SEND
SALARY HISTORY”
Save us some time!
(We
need to round file all applicants that we
can’t afford or
sucker into this
position with lower pay. Remember our
Salaries are
competitive too.[Review Competitive Salary
Above.])
"PROBLEM-SOLVING
SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in
perpetual chaos.
(It
is impossible to soar with Eagles when your
surrounded by TURKEYS!)
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a
manager, without the pay or respect.
(Besides
we need you to buffer the complaints and
whimpers of you team mates.)
(We don’t want to
hear it.)
“MANAGERS
WANTED”
Just think you will be a wheel with our
firm.
(In
reality who wants to be a wheel. That’s
the part that rolls
through the mud and
all the dogs do their duties to.)
(Employee’s detest
you! • Upper management abuses you.)
“MANAGER
TRAINEE’S / ASSISTANT MANAGER WANTED”
We have a great training program! It works
great for us!
(You
do all the work, we take all the credit!
Must be capable of
living at below poverty for at least 2
years.
Than you will be
rewarded with a position to keep you
at JUST OVER BROKE.
It’s the price you have to pay.)
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management
communicates, you listen, figure out what
they want and do it.
(When
they want your opinion they will give it!)
E.O.E.
EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER
If you can fog a mirror your hired.
{You
have an Equal Opportunity to Fail
Financially
You will never
become Financially Independent working for
us!)
SHOW ME A PERSON THAT CLAIMS NONE OF THIS IS TRUE
AND I WILL SHOW YOU SOMEONE WHO IS EITHER
NAIVE, GULLIBLE, IGNORANT OR A LIAR!
The
following facts still remain:
· No one has ever become financially
independent working for someone else.
· Only 5% of the public earns over 6
figures
· 95% of the general public who are still
alive at age 65 will be living at poverty
level and or dependent on relatives.
· The masses are programmed with the lie
that they should go to college, get
their *degree, work all their lives, get a
gold watch when they retire, and be
content with guaranteed poverty when they
reach age 65.
(* There is nothing wrong with
getting a degree - its not so much what you
know,
so much as how you utilize what you know!
Example: There
have
been numerous individuals with less than a
high school education
that
have become wealthy / Financially
Independent!)
· The masses all compete for meager pay
jobs - competition is on the increase.
Bottom-line
these are Bad times and things will get
worse before they get better.. fuel will
continue to spiral out of site, this will
cause everything in store to go up,
while at the same time the value of
the dollar will shrink, the last straw will
be when
the us dollar is no longer accepted
as a world standard! Recently China , Japan
and Russia met behind closed doors about
world currency
Pass
this on to those who are not content and
would like to join the 5% at the top.
enhancing
your “SUCCESS ABILITY” © 1999 R.
L. Theall alias The Duke of Urls
thedukeofurls@hotmail.com
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